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Not everything lasts together, nor forever
written on Sunday, August 3, 2014 @ 2:52 AM ✨{ 1 comments }


So my cousin who lives from another city went over today we kind of had a little slumber party like we played xbox all night and she told me stories about her life and how she didn't regret being pregnant and giving birth to my now godson. She told me things didn't work out with her ex-boyfriend. She told me how she loved that guy and how everything was perfect and they were about to get married until my cousin got pregnant from another man. She told me that for three years, the guy she loved was distant like she didn't greet her on her birthday nor even on Christmas. The communication was totally off. It turned out that the guy was seeing another woman when during his stay overseas so the blame's not just on my cousin but it started with her ex-boyfriend although I know he loved my cousin because ai know him. When he learned about my cousin's pregnancy, he went straight home to the Philippines and they talked and settled everything. They figured every mess and they got back together.

The guy loved my cousin's son so much he loves him like his own. Then when everything was going back to perfect, they learned it wouldn't work out anymore. My cousin told me that even if the love is still there, it doesn't feel like that anymore. Like a big part of their relationship has changed and it's out of their control. Example, in every fight they'd have in the future, it would be given that the guy would bring back the incident that happen and my cousin always feel wronged about the thought. But she told me she saw her ex-boyfriend as her already other half. She told me how she loved this guy and how she was so so comfortable with him like she could actually fart in his face and he wouldn't mind. How they were a couple but at the same time, best of friends. How she has always thought he is her other half. But still, it didn't work out. It means they aren't for each other. And it hurts me because I pity circumstances like this. Like how they're so close in being each others' soulmates but then realize that they're not.

And I thought about 7years. That maybe, this guy that used to like me for 7years wouldn't be my other half when lately, like for a year now all I could about is being with him because I think I love him now but too late he has given up. And I think it is our  end and I am so afraid. I know I already lost him but it feels like I'm losing him all over again. This time it doesn't stop. It never stops. It's like losing him never stops and it's been going on like that for a year now. These stories that tell you about long-term relationships that don't work out saddens me. It scares me. I don't think I'll be able to accept the fact that we're about to go down in the same path. That you'd find your truly other half not in me but in someone else. I am so not ready yet. I don't think I can have leave completely. Although you already did.


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