“How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.”


I lost my phone.
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Aian Mimiey Zira Fiffy Nova

Hard to move on. + Elilea's Giveaway
written on Thursday, September 27, 2012 @ 4:13 PM ✨{ 12 comments }
One of the last photos I took using my phone.

I've been trying to convince myself that it was fine, that at least I am okay but no, I am physically fine thank goodness but I am still mentally ruined. I can't move on just like that.

I've been praying to have Samsung Galaxy SII before for months. More like I spent a year praying to have that. And after 11months of having it, it was robbed from me just like that. I was even looking forward for my 1st anniversary with that phone that's on the 22nd of October this year.

I've been convincing myself that it was okay. That it wasn't my fault that it was robbed when it is clearly mine. I took out the phone out of my bag without hesitation. If I let it stayed there, my phone wouldn't be robbed. If I wasn't too attached with my phone then I wouldn't lose it just like that. If I wasn't so excited to text my friends a "take care" message on their way home then probably right now my phone was still with me. If I wasn't so intrigue about the movie Friends with Benefits then I wouldn't be tempted to watch on my way home and let the robber just grab my phone out of my hand.

Dad worked really hard for that phone. He gave it to me as a gift because he said he was proud of me. I couldn't be more guilty because of what happened. He said it was okay and he's glad that I wasn't hurt but you know that if something horrible happened and there was no other to be blamed than yourself, you know that you won't get over it that easily especially when you often see your dad clearly thinking of ways of tracking your lost phone. It's important to him as much as it is to me.

That phone was almost everything to me. I mean, I almost have everything in that phone. Music, videos, photos that I treasured so much that I didn't get to make a back up. I have useful apps there like the dictionary, translators, scientific calculator, e-book, and so and so forth. It also had games to entertain me when I am alone at school. It has been very helpful in my studies although most of the time it's the reason why I don't hold my books that much anymore.

I went to school yesterday showing everyone that I am completely fine although my phone was robbed. They were like, "OMG. That phone was hella expensive how could you lose it just like that?!", "Ano ka ngayon? Nganga." and whatnot. Ugh, yea yea it hurts but I don't want to show them how all of these things affect me so much because I seriously hate feeling weak. And I don't want to engulf myself with depression because of something that's lost and couldn't be mine anymore. Instead, I should just help myself get over it right? And my friends and classmates are doing a great job. Not the sarcasm.

Every now and then I'd helplessly remember how I lost my phone. I am trying very hard to keep my mind off from what happened but I think I am not doing a good job.

I remember when it was robbed from me, I was trying to send a text message when the guy was about to get off the vehicle he then snatched the phone and ran. I quickly get off the vehicle too and tried to chase the robber. After getting off I stopped at my position. My mind already told me that I was no match with the robber's agility. When I saw the driver's assistant chasing the robber who's now on the other side of the downtown, I asked the other passengers kindly to take care of my belongings for a while and I quickly went to the safe side and started chasing and looking for the robber if he'll be there. I bumped into my classmates on my other subject and asked them if they saw a guy in blue shirt running off because he got my phone. They said they didn't and I said thank you and bade them goodbye. I was in a rush I couldn't talk to them more even a single second. After running a few more and noticed that I was getting distant and more distant to the vehicle, I decided to just go back hopeless.

I saw the driver's assistant with a traffic enforcer. He endorsed me to the traffic enforcer and told me that I should report this to the police. I was kinda hesitant because hearing them told me that I need to go to the police station was scary enough for me not to continue this anymore. I don't want to be in the police station. It's one of the last place I wanted to go in my entire life but its like I had no choice. I went with the enforcer because he's gonna bring me to the station and the passengers were like, "Hey, you take care okay? You'll be alright. Be strong." to me. I felt their concern and the sincerity of their words and right then I wanted to burst into tears. They are one of the kindest strangers I have met, ever!

Being in the police station was depressing and it isn't helping me to have my hopes up. Every second the police were wasting just to have my information and yadda yadda, my hopes of catching the robber was sinking. They spent minutes of interrogating me and I was like, "Aren't you guys aware that the more time you waste here asking me, the greater the possibility he's getting away?!" to myself. After they asked me some troops went off now for a search and I asked the officer to let me go home now because I couldn't afford be in their place anymore. Unfortunately, he couldn't release me yet not before they could show me their suspect and confirm that he was the one.

While waiting in the most depressing place I've ever been, I helplessly cried. That time, all I wanted to do was just be home and feel my dad's comfort. I thought of not needing my phone back anymore and that my family's comfort is much more important.

Every time I would stop crying, I would beg the officer to let me go home and after numerous tries, I failed until I spent another hour begging and begging for him to let me go. After 2hours of traveling home, I saw my dad out of our house holding his phone and he looked worried. I figured he was trying to call me because I was already 3hours late. I walk to him and after a sec, I hugged him and cried hard. I told him I was sorry a lot of times and he asked my why worriedly but I couldn't speak other words than sorry. When I felt like my chest became lighter, I told him that the phone he gave me was robbed.

He cooed me and rubbed my back and told me it was alright and that I need to have dinner first. I couldn't finish my dinner because I could hardly swallow em. I was sobbing and choking so it's hard to swallow every spoon of the meal down to my throat.

After that, I went online and chatted with my mom. I felt way better after chatting with her. She knew what exactly to say and me me feel better. A lot of people cared and they made me feel better. I thought I could survive with just me alone but I guess it's way better to have someone by your side.

That night, too, we figured that after my phone was robbed, my dad could still dial and reach my number. I figured that the robber was stupid enough not to analyze how to take out the sim card out of the phone. I'm positive that he couldn't even unlock the screen with just a swipe. Ugh, I don't know if robbers take lessons on how to unlock and dismantle a certain model of phone. lol Until now, I think my sim card is still in use and it's just that it's busy.

I am feeling better now because I have let out all of these out of insides already. I hope I could get over this, if not forget.

I'm googling some new released phones like Samsung Note II and Galaxy SIII and hoping I could get one in the future. My dad assured me I'd own a new phone again but not this year. Probably next year. He told me he wasn't mad but I need to suffer on the consequences. I didn't disagree. He was right. And I think I couldn't handle an expensive phone again right after I has lost one.

On another note, I was yesterday. I had the opportunity to report and I stood there in front of the class and took all my opportunity to stare at my crush. HAHAHA. While I'd discuss, I would look at him every few seconds and I hope he didn't notice that because I'll be dead. LOL

Then after my report, I didn't know that he was next. He stood there just few feet away from me because I was sitting in front. I asked his partner (to the reporting) what page were their report because I was too shy to ask my crush!! He was the first to discuss and while he was reading the book, I took again my advantage of looking at his cuteness and guess what........ busted!!! He was seriously reading the book when he shifted his eyes to me and looked at me straightly through his lashes with a I-don't-know-how-to-describe expression! OMG OMG OMG. My heart skip a beat! I hope he didn't see me blushing because I am positive my turned all red like a tomato.

After that I didn't dare to look at him anymore. It was enough to be caught once. I don't know if I could still face him. lol

Btw, I have joined Elilea's giveaway! Open to all Philippine residents only!

Byes byes! Take care, loves!

© 2014 Tweaked by Kristen