“How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.”


How are you?
B1A4 RoadTrip in Manila 2014
Past Week Exhaustion
Don't Judge Me, It's Selfie Tuesday!
Not everything lasts together, nor forever
Choose Kind
Catly Cuddly Day
Friendship marks life even more deeply than love

Aian Mimiey Zira Fiffy Nova

written on Monday, November 9, 2015 @ 11:33 PM ✨{ 1 comments }
I always give people the power to penetrate my walls, may that be strangers or people really close to my heart.

I feel sorry, it’s so unfair to those who sticks with me through my ups and downs that they get to hurt me equally as those who shouldn’t matter to me. I have too much of flaws. I never really liked myself. I always tend to compare myself to others because that’s always it has been. I’ve never really been confident of myself and neither have I had the courage to show off myself because I knew I have something beautiful. I never really find myself beautiful. So when people who shouldn’t matter tell me beautiful things, they become instantly valuable. And I don’t like it. They shouldn’t be hurting me. I shouldn’t be hurting. But whyyyy

People has been exercising the habit of telling me they like me lately but after a few days of showering me beautiful words, they’d be gone and I’m left alone for months wondering what made them go. Was it something I said last night? Have I become too clingy? Were you busy? WHAT. WHY.

 I don’t like you telling me beautiful words then leave me with nothing but awful things. I want to believe I am worth it. But I feel worthless if people keep treating me like this and what I only get is pity on myself. Stop playing with my feelings. I am too weak. So please stop. Spare me.

How are you?
written on Wednesday, March 18, 2015 @ 12:30 PM ✨{ 2 comments }
I miss blogging. You know, before, it's always been a part of me. But as what they always say, people change and I think I've changed. I wasn't afraid of blogging before, letting my voice out through typed words but now, as much as I wanna tell the world things about myself, I cannot. I can't seem to find the courage and confidence to do so. But I've been curious how's this blog doing. How everyone is doing. I am okay, if you want to ask. I hope everyone is doing alright as well.

I just want you to know guys that I am really happy right now because my mom has come back home after two years of working overseas and she's planning to stay for good now. And yes, a lot of things have happened in the past half year including dyeing my hair back to black and how is it fading to light brown. Also, my sister is graduating this March and I'm gonna start on my internship this summer. Hope all goes well. xo

B1A4 RoadTrip in Manila 2014
written on Monday, October 6, 2014 @ 4:18 PM ✨{ 2 comments }
A lot has happened for the past few weeks I don't even know where to start. And I don't like writing at all too but for like a whole month now, I've been planning how to write my experience seeing my most favorite Korean group in flesh not much farther than several feet and seeing them performing live.

A month has passed when I went to their concert. But still, it feels like it just has been yesterday when I saw them and everyday I miss them more and more. It was my first time traveling a 6-hour away drive from home alone and I got to experience a lot of new experiences that day. On September 6th, I went to Manila alone like at 5 in the morning. I actually have no idea where am I to go after dropping off the bus. Luckily, I met kind old couple inside the bus and told me we're going in the same destination. I arrived at SM North Edsa way earlier than expected. I made plans before I am off to go to the concert. I was to meet my close friends that I haven't yet seen before and it was our chance to get together since I was arriving at their city. So yeah, I got to meet them. It was like my first time meeting my co-fangirls personally. Another first to me :D

After having lunch with them, they dropped me off to the concert hall. They waited with me until my friends from another came. We bade our goodbyes but omg, I could see them again, hopefully this December. We didn't really get to hang out a lot because I was tight of time and I have to be in the concert hall as early as I could.

Was with my friends that I will be with in the concert.  We were so close at the stage. I kind of regretted when B1A4 came out to the stage for the first time because I couldn't see them well not wearing my glasses because I freaking left 'em at home. But that regrets are no comparison to the happiness and nervousness I felt the moment I saw them. They were so beautiful. They're like angels falling from above but instead, they were walking to us. I can't remember well but I think they firstly sang their debut song, "O.K" and omggg I couldn't stop staring at CNU! If I have to be real honest, I never left my sight out of CNU. If you see all the fancams I took, it's all CNU. All my attention was at him that I even missed Jinyoung when he went down to our side and offered handshake. It's a bit regretful that CNU seldom went to my side but that's okay, I still love him as much. These are just few of the photos I took and I didn't even realize that Baro was the one who frequently went to our side and even look at our side. Call me delusional but eff it, I am claiming that Baro really did look at my cam on the second and fourth photo. Hihi.

I wish CNU went and look to our side as much though. I mean, to be frankly speaking he's almost like the 75% reason why I attended the concert. I wanted to see this man I like so much in person. I feel like I need to see him in person or I might not get chances anymore in the future.

I enjoyed all their performances to bits! I have to say my favorite though is "If...". It was their encore and I didn't know what to feel when they were leaving the stage. I actually bought him a Korilakkuma pillow but I wasn't able to hand it to him. I tried but he seemed to have not seen it. But it's okay. I love seeing them all in person and listening to their voices. Their voices don't seem to sound much differently so I've learned that they all sing very good and they weren't faking at all. Especially CNU's voice, I personally like his voice and omggggg. Just omggggg his singing and dancing skills are superb.

After the concert, we got to have a chance to have high-five with them. The setup was:

The funny thing was, the high-five event was too fast I only remember highfiving with Sandeul, Gongchan and CNU. I didn't even felt holding Jinyoung and Baro's hands at all but omg, Sandeul has the softest hands and I think Gongchan and CNU have the roughest. Oh wells, the moment I've held hand with CNU, I just blurted out "제일 좋아요~" and I wanted to run away. I just confessed on our first meeting! I wish the organizers of the concert will upload the official photos of the hi-touch event. >< I've been waiting for it like forever.

The more I recall everything that has happened, I don't know what I would feel though because to be very honest, a part of me is sad and a part of me is happy because it really is a dream come true to me. But you know, I feel sad because I could've done better. I could've given him that pillow but I wasn't able to. It feels like seeing him just for one night isn't enough and now I've known a different level of how difficult it is being a fangirl. You can't get enough of them and the more you see them, the more you want to see them more in the future. And I don't think it is something that will just stop at some point. uggggghhhh idk. I just love these boys so much! I hope I am not sounding like a sasaeng.

© 2014 Tweaked by Kristen